Fiction Romance
By A
Issue 65, Summer 2004
I’ve been with this girl for getting on for 6 years now. Its our one and only relationship. I guess it’s easier if I start at the beginning. Tell the truth, when I first met her I didn’t reckon she was up to much, just a kid of 18, pretty enough to look at but scrawny and inelegant. Didn’t really stand out from the crowd if I’m honest. But I was at a low ebb myself at that time and although not exactly swept off me feet, I could see there was something to work with there, and we got on okay, and started seeing each other.
And I have to say, it was wonderful in the beginning. Together we grew and blossomed in the others company and we shared some of the happiest times of our lives, resplendent with memories that will last a lifetime. I sit now and wonder if I’ll have such happy times ever again. It was the textbook idyllic courtship, and from the gangly teenager grew an elegant swan, and when I was out on her arm, I’d clock the envious glances which went her way and there can’t have been a prouder lad than me, that she was mine and I was hers.
To say that the love was textbook ironically hits the nail square on the head, as just as we were at our happiest, like in the films, troubles were to come and cloud the relationship. At this point, I have to hold my hands up and say that many of these initial difficulties were of my own making. I don’t really wish to go into the ins and outs of what went on, as it’s still too raw and painful for me. I’m sure many have been there though, when your relationship departs from its foundations of mutual love and trust and becomes characterised by pig-headed stubbornness, unwillingness to change and compromise and ultimately, we had the same cycle of arguments and bust ups over and over again.
In retrospect, I have to admit that she pulled me through some dark days. As we arrive at where we are today, I feel better and more confident in myself than I have for a long time. I’ve taken positive steps to change the direction in which I’m heading and I feel that things are back on track. My loved one, however, doesn’t share my optimism. For a while she’s been humming and arring about needing a break, a "change." Now I understand completely that she feels aggrieved about what’s gone before, and two years of turmoil between us. After all, she’s only human and that’s fair enough, as unquestionably I’ve held her back. At the same time, she forgets all I’ve done for her, I recognised her radiant qualities when no other lad would. I’ve given her things and gone to efforts to please her that no other lad would. There’s this nasty materialistic streak there and a greedy unwillingness to be happy with what you’ve got which I don’t like one little bit.
Over the last few weeks, things have come to a head. She said she wanted a break. My reply of "have a kit kat then" did little to defuse the mounting tension, and she flew off for a few weeks in the sun to get her head together and decide what to do next. Funny, what you do when you love someone isn’t it? Because even though I didn’t really like the crowd she was going away with I really wanted her to go and have a good time. That was until I got a call off a mate on holiday in the same resort, who’d seen her out drinking and flirting round with some other lads. I know one of these lads from playing footy against him - he’s a complete prick, the human embodiment of ‘Loaded’ – i.e. a superficial shite.
Thing is, he’s got a few quid and I could see how she’d go for that. Moreover, this mate of mine has managed to talk this lovely Spanish waitress into ditching her boyfriend and coming home with him on just that premise, more money, more status, more glamour……maybe we should just accept that they are all materialistic greedy little sluts and as long as they remain "ours" then that’s the best we can hope for. A few days later, I called her up in a state and asked her to come home early, which to her eternal credit, she did. After long talks and periods of reflection, she’s agreed to give it another go with me, but only on the condition that I can match all of her expectations or she’ll be off.
And as Columbo might say, that’s the one thing that’s bothering me: if your bird flirted around behind your back, knocked round with people you didn’t like, threatened to end the relationship and go off with someone else and didn’t - albeit on her set of conditions.....well would you be like I am today and pleased that you’ve got a chance to start over and that love might blossom again ?
Or would the relationship be blighted by this perennial nagging doubt that you are just this needy, desperate, pathetic loser who has abandoned all his principles? And just maybe that they’ve become too scared to accept the love has died and move on as you think that you might not ever find true love again?
What do you think?
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